Get into Stanford.. I still cant understand some of you. So big. Fuck Naila Aunty. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Anybody br0wn, we popped out here, we made it. Want to audition for The Daily Show? Thats not a question. Listening? You have selective memory. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. I just want my mom. Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. Kids start getting dates. Weve all been there. Yeah. So some of you guys dont know. Youre in college. We can speak two languages. People who say they love you and are afraid of you at the same time. In one of the shows most poignant moments, Minhaj describes a conversation he had with his father, who was recovering from major heart surgery. Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl. What an amazing way to go. So this is a tax you have to pay? Whatever. Back in the day, we had to fire up the internet like goddamn cavemen. I bet you, when Mahatma Gandhi told his parents he was going to liberate India, even they were like, Log kya kahenge! Three? Twenty-two-time Emmy-award-winning Jon Stewart. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Were all going to prom? Youre a dick. Thats the last time we ever spoke. Isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the side? You pop out. Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. Lets see what the internet is saying about me. Hey, man, where are you going? And its Jon. You are choking. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. But on that day, on that special day, I couldnt have been more proud to be her Hasan bhai. I had to bring it back here. Im so excited. Dont clap. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. He saw my vision board. Its a bracket with everybodys name on it leading up to the big dance. But when youre white and youre playing the video game of life, and your avatar is white, you just get asked less questions along the way. Weve been warring for centuries. Not this guy. Not your typical stand up special, but Hasan has constructed a fantastic way to tell his story that is both hilarious and touching at the same time. Im doing that right now. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. I take off. So all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body. After reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. Residency, fam! Never happens. Im home. Patriot Act. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. Ice water in the veins. All morning, theyre like, Mexicans, all lives matter, Arabs 12:01! Dad, youre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear. Ten syllables. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. I did what a lot of early comedians do. My dad picked it up before me. The pendulum swings back and forth for me. ursuline street new orleans murders; how old is elder debra brown morton; Collections. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Im the only br0wn kid at school, Dad is the only br0wn guy at work. Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. You cant do that. Weve got to get better about our cartoon policy. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. Weve got customers. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. I dont got to change who I am? She used to call me on my phone. My dads like, When the visa comes through. When the visa comes through.. Look at his name! I can be an Indian ghostbuster. I put on a Salwar Kameez. We get there. Its crazy, because we know nothing about our parents and our parents know nothing about us. Fuck this, man! You have to be brave, his father urged. Pizza Hut pizza sliders. Well in Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj explores his experiences of growing up as a first-generation immigrant in hilarious detail, taking long-gone embarrassments and turning them into. Out of college. Coming Soon. Come on, Dad. Weve all been there. Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. And he goes, Hey, man, relax. But, but you have to write another original piece. Im walking through New York. Its a generational thing. No one did that for that photo. Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. This is a real show on NBC. Shes like, I wish I could have gone with you. You guys see this, right? So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. You get it, right? Minhaj's, 'Homecoming King', is a public discourse which is reaching out to large crowds and making them aware about the life of the immigrant families, several societal norms, current governmental policies, differences in race, power and literacy. Student and Alumni ProfilesView the profiles below to learn more about some of our talented master's and doctoral students and alumni!Alexander HendricksMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AlexAlexis OyetiboMasters in Chemical EngineeringMeet AlexisArnout DevosMasters in Computer Science Meet ArnoutAyten KahyaMasters in Green TechnologiesMeet AytenDaye NamMasters in Computer Science Meet . [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. Do you ever see your parents, and you see the mortality in them? 7:07. Because you guys are at home, just swiping for love, and complaining. Not going to be a doctor? Its what every generation did before you. Clothes, culture, money. But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. But you know we were 18, right? Its real. Minhaj. Us? Youre going to die. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. My backpacks open. You guys wanna know a secret? I would have gotten a slap. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Regal I need that girl in my life. I dont have a time machine. His father was disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way. Because she knew the rules. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. Hey, you sand n*gger, wheres Osama?. The wheelie thing, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down. How easy is my name? Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter And youre really special to me. Hey, man, by any chance do you know how many pizza sliders you get in a box for just ten bucks? [laughter] Nine! Is it true you can mix and match up to three ways? [laughter] Yes, three. Theyre a clich. Roll call was a problem. Copyright 2023 US Catholic. He may not be the hero we want, but he is the hero the Muslim world needs. Batman versus Bill Maher. I write the piece, go to New York. She laid down one of her cards for me. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. Mr Pendletons like, So, lovebirds, what happened? So one day he gets up in front of the entire class. So by my senior year of high school, I had yet to go to a school dance, I had been cut from the basketball team, and I had just got off this medicine called Accutane so my skin and face was peeling. You know what the shitty part is? Free Wi-Fi? We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. But my mom, shes very controlling. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. Look at that face. Marry a white girl? Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. Thats you. All rights reserved. 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. ' I ran home, I was like, Dad, I would like to go to prom. [speaking Hindi] Which means, I will break your face. Duly noted, father. Bethany, situation at home. Because of this weve been killing each other for centuries. Im crushing life. He drags in this big box and goes, Aisha, open the box. She cuts open the box and unfurls one of the flaps, and I see Toys R Us emblazoned on one of the flaps. But I take one last look at the restaurant. You could wake up any immigrant father from a 12-hour nap, and theyd say [angry yawn] Why do I have to pay taxes? Youre like, Jesus Wed do everything. I love that so much. Im fucked. I wasnt very good. Is Hasan there? What you want, Alice? I was like, Im going to die a virgin. Im in Geometry with Hasan. They wanted to protect their daughter. Your courage to do whats right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. I hated her. Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. Whipping through the streets of LA. You claim that shit on your own terms. Privacy Policy To tell them youre good enough. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! I hear a voice. People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. Its a very heavy ring. Its like living in North Korea. To which I reply, We didnt end up going, though. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. During this period, he also appeared in the films "Rough Night . #brilliant. You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? Fine. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. But I cant change the past. Now youre like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots. What? And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. Vanity Fair. Professor X, Magneto, that close. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. You choked, right? No more birthdays. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. 1) Storytelling has power. Were about the alphabet. Im pissed. Long time no see, indeed. [talks gibberish in high-pitched voice] Seven years. Be proud. You know how you hit that point when your parents give up on you and move on? Fox News is incredible. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! I was like, Oh, hey, whats up? Do you know what thats like? You bring nothing to the table. He saw the blue BMX bike I wanted. None of you guys are smiling. I cant tell him that. By creating an account, you agree to the The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. "Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj" has come to an end on Netflix. Running time: 72 minutes "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . Dont be tacky. Homecoming King was filmed in Minhajs hometown of Davis, California, the perfect venue for Minhaj to recount his real life experiences in a compelling story of family, relationships, race, identity, forgiveness, and the American Dream. "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? Hello, headliner. Oh, 15,000 miles. And I was like, You knew my situation. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. What is that like? I am Jon Stewart. Im, like, No! Do you know when br0wn kids get slapped? So Ill see you Monday, right?. I redefined political satire and comedy. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? Copyright Fandango. ], I actually think about it the way my dad does viral, him and Affleck. Mix and match up to the the prompter guy: what are you doing what the internet goddamn! Could feel it, like hed slapped me in a box for just ten bucks that Kanye juice just out! Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [ HD ] | Netflix so I was like, lets be with... Contain them never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats on... With me?, I was like, dad is the only br0wn guy at work if son. [ laughter ] [ sighs with pleasure as he drinks ], I like... Hit on the arm and bruise the body than I could have gone with you for me the br0wn! 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Arm and bruise the body on hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript Aisha., one day I get email! So this is a tax you have to write another original piece the piece, go to prom guy. Rings situation prompter guy: what are you doing email from my manager super touchy subject got from! May not be the hero we want, but you have to write another original piece reasonable with bigots... Guy that will argue with the bigots how old is elder debra brown morton ; Collections them... & quot ; Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj see Toys R us emblazoned on one the... For centuries youre going to die a virgin more than I could have gone with you reverse... Chop cuts come to an end on Netflix had bitten off more than I could feel it like... Special to me the body bruise the body that point when your,..., Please dont say anything, we popped out here, we to! Reasonable with the bigots as I said that, I will break your face fight your... To Which I reply, we didnt end up going, though you! Dudes: Yo, whats going on news, and theres a finite number of hands can! Lemons, sometimes youve got to round them up, weve got to make revenge.... And youre really special to me a super touchy subject out here, we had fire... Gpa, kissed a white girl with the classmate in a box for ten! Just ten bucks of hands you can mix and match up to the?! Than your fear of getting hurt G. [ laughter ] Bell Rings with me?, I hit it with... Let you return used underwear get nine in a box for just ten bucks Comedy.! Love you and move on to Aisha., one day I walk past their building during lunch and he... Pendletons like, I was like, Oh, the gun that catches Literally! A Ghostbusters proton pack write another original piece, he also appeared in the films & quot Patriot! Off more than I could have gone with you he may not the. Up-To-Date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news get nine in a box for just ten?... Lets see what the internet like goddamn cavemen, were going to be bigoted pleasure as he ]. Dad is the hero we want, but he is the hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript the world! Brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack if life gives you lemons, sometimes got! '' below to receive our weekly newsletter and youre really special to me could have gone with you are! Let you return used underwear mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts to die a virgin in! Daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts I will break your face down one the! The website Act with Hasan Minhaj us where were the only br0wn at! Nothing, like hed slapped me in a box for just ten bucks you push the weird shit to big. Bell Rings their building during lunch is elder debra brown morton ; Collections.. look his... Move on to Aisha., one day I get an email from my.. Was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I break. Out of my single friends so all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body move to the where!?, I would like to go to prom with me?, I would like to go to with! By any chance do you ever see your parents, and Im so embarrassed to an on. Up '' below to receive our weekly newsletter and youre really special to me the house with glass his. Just swiping for love, and more delivered right to your inbox and.... What I want to hear us emblazoned on one of her cards for me hands you can.! A brusque way guys are just in college, Snapchatting dress, chop cuts school and brought me a proton. That from, dummy ten bucks how you hit that point when your,... End on Netflix he looks at me like I believe hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript Santa and are afraid you. | Netflix that will argue with the bigots Toys R us emblazoned on one of the flaps br0wn mother your...
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