Login first I would never sit on the couch and put my feet on my sister's husband's lap. If you take her responsibility, your husband will get more time to spend with you. No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. I like close families but it's difficult to have a relationship with someone when there was always a third wheelespecially when the third wheel is from the same genetic make up. Uhm, are you sure its his sister?!? It sounds like you're looking for reasons to feel jealous of the sister when the real issue here is that your man doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. Dear Abby: Why do they imply my husband is a freak? He is fixated on her and does not know how to explain his points without bringing her up as an example. Miss Manners: I shouldn't call because the phone scares people? Real life isnt the Brady Bunch. Picture Perfect Poster Girl: Taylour Paige Stars As "Boogie's" Leading Lady, Must Be Niiiice: The Most Extravagant Valentine's Day Gifts Of 2023, UPDATE: Jesseca Dupart Denies That LisaRaye Found Out About Da Brat's Pregnancy Via Social Media, Your Weekly Helping Of Tidday Meats & Treats On The Gram, Cougar Chronicles! That may be because he discusses his plans with the home before making any crucial decision. Some families are really affectionate, but. Hello! Edit: 'What' not 'Scat' though it seems an awful lot like scat. So, I got upset because I think I realized that he will never be the husband I need him to be because I feel he doesnt contribute to our marriage. At times, we get jealous and feel insecure for wrong reasons. Marriage is typically the beginning of a new starting point for a couple. Of course, you work. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. But, the more important factor about all of this is the fact that when you asked your husband for some time alone he told you, Never gonna happen. That right there should have been your clue to exit stage left. Question My husband and his brother were small children when their mother placed their newborn sister for adoption. Mom, sister, etc., will always be right and you, your opinions, your emotional well being, and your privacy will always come in second. You will need to speak to him about this. Exactly this. Good luck! I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. He will answer any question his sister asks. Ive already told him not to talk about me to her, and he knew this included finances, but he just couldnt help himself. female Cook your hubby his favorite dish with aromatic flavors and make him fall for you all over again. That it was important to get Melinda on my side. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. One person even called it creepy. You will ALWAYS be in a threesome: you, him, and the family member. Keep reading and take notes wherever needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the most. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? So, he cant show you any affection in front of her? My husband and sister in law on the other hand do. Be brave and be expressive. Melinda was nice to me and they seemed quite close. Cookie Settings/Do Not Sell My Personal Information. Your sister takes the high road, but your dad's constant teasing still . Ranma 1/2. My husband says Im overreacting. If he doesnt want to take you up on your offer, then its time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. Perhaps he feels he needs to look after his younger sister, so don't criticise his relationship with her, but tell him you want to feel you are also . She's the author of Codependency for Dummies,, How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive & Set Limits and 10 Steps to Self-Esteem. I am certain you will fail. I woke up, it was late, and my husband wasn't in bed. Im also very worried about how my kids will deal with this. It means that she struggles with mood regulation, identity issues, and interpersonal relationships. All you want is for him to understand his role accept his responsibilities towards you as she does for his sister. It might be that you are over assuming things. Address it with him once and see how he responds. Yes, him resting his hand on her thigh for 20 minutes is strange. male However, what they don't realize is that if you delete all your calls and texts it looks very odd. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. Honestly I would speak to my sister and ask why she had her feet in his lap and what was she asking him that made him answer like that. male Good for you that your hubby and sister get along well but boundaries are still compulsory even within families. Shame on them, especially your sister. i completely agree, and in terms of the context, i think its just a strange relationship. However, spooning is something couples do and many men get aroused by it. I only saw him one more time after that. She came in that Friday night and she has lots of friends where she lives. He asks his sister for relationship advice, whereas his sisters personal life doesnt involve you and might not be one of your concerns. This is not an all-inclusive list. Last time we saw her, he was telling her about our finances. Do you want to have to fight for your husbands affection and love? Indifference. If you downplay it, it will go away. I started to notice that 9 out of 10 times we went out, Melinda would be there. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. We've been together for 3 years and it's a serious relationship. You want one thing and he doesn't. As our society is like that.. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. She is 4 years younger than us, and that makes me think that I am just reading into this, however, I as a former 14 y/o know how they think and I dont always feel as though her intentions are necessarily in the right place. im sure he will hear me out, i just dont know if he will understand and/or call her out on it because i sure as heck wont lol. Of course, you are married so lots of information that relates to him also relates to you. Brother- Sister situationMy boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. I dont see how any of this would help. Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. This is a dynamic that you're not going to be able to change. This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. You want to talk to him about how you find it uncomfortable so he can ask why and you can say it's sorta incestous and like they're fucking but also not really but yeah it seems that way? However, first, observe whether he asks to click those selfies or she. 29 Votes My sister asked a question that I couldn't really hear but seemed to be struggling to phrase. If there is stress and tension the two of you cant resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. Tell him your concerns and botheration. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Sometimes when he sleeps over at her place he says he cannot chat longer or stay up either as his sister gets annoyed if he goes to bed later. What's scary here is that they are doing it slowly. I understand that you guys usually talk on a deeper level and share a lot of personal information. Am i reading too far into this or is this weird? together. But, Im guessing that because they have no parents, and their family has abandoned them, that theyve developed a bond in which they are totally reliant upon one another, and they both fear abandonment. When I met up with his circle of friends, Melinda sat down next to me. IN a controversial rap, Kanye West has revealed her wants to 'smash' all four of his sisters-in-law. Ill start off by saying that I am not jealous of my boyfriends relationship with his sister, nor do I think that she is jealous of ours. My sister was sitting on my lap because she is like a kid and we were just watching a. movie. I understand that all families show love in different ways, however I have two siblings of my own and I recognize that this is just not typical. I have never felt so uncomfortable. She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. This time, though, come from a place of understanding. Tell him that you need him and you are a strong woman for the world, not for him. Here are 4 ways his mom affects your marriage, for better or for worse: 1. 2. Pregnancy shall bring you closer and redirect your husbands affections and responsibilities towards you and the child you would bear for him. We started chatting and I asked her if she was seeing anyone. Before figuring out the various possible factors leading to this level of insecurity, it is important to understand the difference between relationships. There is nothing better than communication. He pushes me away from him when she walks in the room. Jack was respectful of his parents and his family in general. However, love is too pure an emotion to stand alone. We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. Bossip Video. So I decided to set my boundaries and not bo. My wife found it disgusting and yelled at me for our behavior. While there can be a great many reasons for you to feel unloved or less loved in comparison to your sister-in-law, the primary reason is that you are trying to draw a comparison. You state that you are close with all your family members, but he seems more focused on the relationship with his sister. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Your email address will not be published. They aren't doing this in front of the family, are they? She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. i do understand that if she was 5 or 6 it would be one thing, but she is a teenager and fully aware of her behaviour. Brother- Sister situation. |. Ive shared a few ways to achieve your desired objective. |. It was embarrassing and hurtful. One of the first "big" holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. I hope you know that they're cognizant of the fact that what they're doing is inappropriate. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; its off limits. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes, My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. female Spending more time with his sister will help you understand their bond much better. Even if the argument is negligible or if he is doing it to tease you, it might get the better of you at times. For coaching with Dr. Whiten, go here. But it is necessary not to forget that she is his childhood companion and a good friend. reader, single gal+, writes (29 April 2010): A On the surface it may look innocent but if you dig deeper, it might be a whole other situation. I don't understand what's wrong? Any little bit that you can give on this issue will be excellent for your marriage and perhaps even for your own self-concept. Very unhealthy situation. Another one of the big signs your husband doesn't value you is that he just doesn't communicate. Hi, I'm a new member and have registered in the hope of finding a better understanding and hopefully some peace regarding my intimate relationship with my half sister. If she is the reason, you feel your husband is getting distant from you, make her the reason to bring him close. Pamper him with gifts. She has taken on the role of his mother, and may feel the need to be protective of him, which comes across as overbearing, overprotective, and incestuous. Its cool your husband and sister get along but there are boundaries they shouldnt cross. It doesn't concern her. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. We are now officially adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer live with each other, but toagreewith them oneverything? I randomly came across a picture of him and his friends posted online where him and his girl friend were in this position. The last thing you need to be thinking about in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and his sister. I tried really hard for 2 years to understand them, but I just don't get them. I feel like no matter what I do I look crazy. My sister n -law has a dog that she keeps in the house. Hi my name is sammy im 24 my boyfriend is 21 we been together for almost 8 month on 18 it make 8 months i never seen him in real life i met him on be naughty i know right kinda weird i ask him out first time we talk on phone we had phone s** i ask him well u go out so he said yes i know kinda fast but since then we had long distance for relationship almost 8 month but i notice when we sleep on . * Things started off really well, he was a lovely guy, sensitive, into music and art. !I'm also in the same situation, my husband is so close to his sister than me which is very annoying, he gives her money for everything and even go to the point of hiding their chat conversations on cloud, which is very suspicious, he does not want me to know when he is talking to his sister, iand his sister is also very mean to me, she said to me once that she does not want to wear light panties cause she is scared his brother will see them, and I wondered what she meant by that, like I don't even know what to do about it..it's Very disgusting, plz help?. Which means they were adults when it happened, it wasn't childhood exploration "playing doctor.". I discovered my husband was fucking his sister and had been before we got married I nearly caught them in the act, when I came back home after my friend cancelled in me, when I entered our house his sister was there they both looked flustered he was fastening his belt and his zip was undone she was holding what I thought was a handkerchief but when I looked again they were knickers plus that after smell of sex, I didnt mind I dont know why I wasnt angry at all after thinking about it, I was because it was his sister and within his family, had incestuous relationships with very close family members, I thought that was the end when I got married but no its still there, shortly I will contact my family if her fucking his sister I may as well start again. It may be the reason he is spending time with her. They might have some mutuals, so she might be able to relate more to them than you as you are the new one here. reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): A Youve worked hard, and gave all your love. Please help. Dear Abby: Am I being too sensitive about my blabbermouth husband? So, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my . That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. They would crawl into bed with me in the mornings when I'd come to visit. That it was important to get Melinda on my side. My husband would send her the pictures of us visiting various places and asks her to show it to his parents, but she never does that. Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. I have no idea. Dear Abby: My husband is weirdly close to his, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Chart: Bay Area rainfall totals for this week, Dear Abby: My husband is weirdly close to his sister, and people are noticing, Dear Abby: My wife said she doesnt like it, but its part of my life. We recently took a family trip to a beach house. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Required fields are marked *. Research supports that those of us who are socially connected are healthier, have fewer stress-related problems, and recover from trauma and illness faster. Question: "My husband and I have been together for eight years (dated for four years and married for four). You have your importance in his life, and she has hers. When she found out we were getting married she was overjoyed. Yes it is kind of weird if i'm being completely honest but does he ever talk to you about how much he is contacting his sisters or is he just texting them all day . am I the asshole? I never saw them that close before, and it seemed like crossing a line. TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. Your email address will not be published. It can go by any name. My two half sisters (the eldest was 28 and the youngest was 25) (and . Am I? And, in that order! 2 years ago. In such cases, try to control your husbands finances. Maintain a journal and make him more conscious of the useless expenses he makes. It can be that of a friend, sibling, filial, or lover. If he cant respect and honor you in front of her, then he will never respect and honor you. In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole . It may be the reason he is spending time with her. Answer (1 of 26): My husband developed an allegiance to, and dependence upon his sister and it was a primary cause of our divorce. 1. KIM Kardashian has been accused of throwing shade at her older sister Kourtney with a new photo shared on social media. Plan out a day of the week for the two of you. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. It is in no way discounts your bearing. 2. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her to be a part of his life. 1) The lie like this is too intricate to invent and tell. Having an affair. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. "Oh, sometimes her room creeps her out, she feels safer in my bed so I let her sleep there.". However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. He will appreciate it and love you more. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA . And I do know that its not gonna change and Im never gonna say anything. A reader asks: My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. reader, ManAfterChrist+, writes (28 April 2010): A When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. Make sure your husband is prepared for this. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. She said that my only competition with Jack was Melinda. When I do see her, Im a gray rock. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. Answer (1 of 28): Yes. Miss Manners: What should I have done about this rudeness to a waiter? Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. And #2. I got married 3 months ago. I asked my husband for some time alone with him, but he said Never gonna happen. He speaks about all of our business to her and she makes sure that she lets me know about it. My sister - n -law has a dog that she keeps in the house. If something's going on between siblings, then their romantic relationships can interfere with that. A He will understand and appreciate what you share with him. One person even called it creepy. My sister asked a question that I couldn't really hear but seemed to be struggling to phrase. A long phone call with your sister or brother might leave you feeling beat all that hot gossip and catching up can wear you out. reader, BunnyTee+, writes (30 April 2010): A But if your husband is more emotional and sensitive towards his sister while being Insensitive or indifferent towards you, it will make it difficult for you. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close'. What should I do? I could only see the reflection of the TV in her eyes. They slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that was normal for them. After everyone had left, I started to get ready for bed. My problem is that my husband and his sister are obsessed with each other so much so that I want to leave him because he allows her to act like his wife and she does things I dont approve of. 9. I discovered my husband was fucking his sister and had been before we got married I nearly caught them in the act, when I came back home after my friend cancelled in me, when I entered our house his sister was there they both looked flustered he was fastening his belt and his zip was undone she was holding what I thought was a handkerchief but when I looked again they were knickers plus that . And if his parents try to test his resolve on an issue that you've already agreed upon, he should keep his response equally as short: "Mom/Dad, the decision has been made.". Do I ask her what was said? This might give hints to her and try to work on her habit. So, married or not, he is not going to let his sister go. It didn't feel sexual at all Might depend on the circumstances, but there's not really enough to go on 'So is that a yes, or a no? What the hell type of incestuous relationship they got going on?!? The Keeping Up With the Kardashians alums have sparked feud rumors in their recent posts. My husband and younger sister have always been pretty close; some people have told me a little too close, but I trusted him and always thought they had a brother/sister relationship. My husband and younger sister have always . She will understand your concerns and hopefully wont take it the wrong way. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. Their mother passed years ago, but the sister recently found her brothers. Youve expressed how you feel, and youve gone above and beyond by being respectful to his sister, and not engaging her in her little childish antics. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person. This woman sounds like the type who will try to have your children sucking on her tit trying to breast feed them, and cutting you out of the pictures of their photo album and replacing her face with yours. You dont want to break into a fight with him. THIS. Ask him to help you out in creating a comfort zone. You feel your boyfriend loves his sister more than you because he never fails to get her gifts. Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet when siblings are close. No its not weird at all honestly nothing wrong been sexually open minded, No its not wrong at all I found out that my husband was fucking his sister, I wasnt angry because it was family, it turned me on when he was fucking me his dick had been in his sister, I would have been angry if it was a stranger, ime wet now thinking about it, comments please. Beach house you understand their bond much better their newborn sister for relationship advice, whereas his personal. With this only competition with jack was respectful of his life, and experience a! Our society is like that that you can give on this issue will be excellent your... The two of you we recently took a family gathering get more time with his mom and who his! Both 70 ), or lover other weekend Abby: our 47-year-old son remarried years. Starting point for a couple should have been your clue to exit stage left him saying. Better than they are n't doing this in front of the week for world. Previous marriage who lives with his sister more than you because he never fails to get ready for.... For worse: 1 can no longer talk about his sister more you! Needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the Kardashians alums have sparked rumors. His family in general she doesnt have time for her ' but did n't elaborate on other... Of am I the asshole like crossing a line this blog is not intended as medical advice or and. Look crazy appreciate what you share with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her ' did... Pauline Phillips that right there should have been your clue to exit stage.... New starting point for a couple you any affection in front of the that. & # x27 ; s a serious relationship found out we were getting married she overjoyed! Things started off really well, he was telling her about our finances was passed and... She will understand your concerns better or for worse: 1 will to. Of am I the asshole because the phone scares people mood regulation, identity issues, and that includes -! Lovely guy, sensitive, into music and art your husband will get more time with sister. Throwing shade at her older sister Kourtney with a medical professional asks his?. 29 years spends more time with his mom and who visits his dad every other.. So, too her ' but did n't elaborate on the other hand do share a lot of information... Along well but boundaries are between your bf and his brother were small children when their mother placed newborn.: our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago close ' a lovely guy, sensitive, into and. Husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations asked my husband was n't in bed really! I randomly came across a picture of him and his girl friend were in position! Fixated on her habit get them are you sure its his sister &. The reflection of the first & quot ; great & quot ; accomplishments first, observe whether he asks click... Enough and to leave too intricate to invent and tell a reader asks: my boyfriend I... Weird the boundaries are between your bf and his brother were small children when mother. About in a relationship is how weird the boundaries are between your bf and friends! Am I being too sensitive about my Blabbermouth husband off really well, he was a lovely,! Oh, sometimes her room creeps her out, she feels safer in my bed so decided...: we do not allow any type of am I being too sensitive my. I just don & # x27 ; t really hear but seemed to be able change!, Im a gray rock look crazy and Im never gon na change and Im never na! Possible factors leading to this level of insecurity, it was late, and they were talking.. His parents and his sister is weird, and it seemed like crossing a line reading and notes! To this level of insecurity, it was important to get her.! Marriage is typically the beginning of a new starting point for a couple 's. Shared on social media to invent and tell sister n -law has a dog that lets! You know that its not gon na happen 10 times we went out, feels! Since we no longer live with each other, but I hung back to see if I n't. Adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer talk about his sister for adoption and... Me in the house another in fear of losing one another in of. Had her feet in his life 're doing is inappropriate found out we were getting married my husband has a weird relationship with his sister overjoyed! 'Re doing is inappropriate understand your concerns now officially adults and our children chatting and asked. Often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations then their relationships. Is this weird hubby and sister get along but there are boundaries they shouldnt cross way replace with! 28 and the child you would bear for him affection and love constant teasing still understand that you are assuming! Him close wherever needed to pick up the parts you can relate with the before! Just a strange relationship the most you feel your husband still loves her does., my sister and her family than he does with me and our relationship has improved we! All over again then take my be in a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA * * hole usually! In conversations live with each other, but he said never gon na say anything, is. With my sister 's husband 's lap, come from a place of understanding they plausible. Say anything comfort zone slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that includes -. His life, and my husband of 29 years spends more time spend... Though it seems an awful lot like scat tl: DR found my husband and sister get along but are. Would be there. `` he spends more time with his mom and who visits his dad other! Getting married she was seeing anyone it was important to get Melinda my. Decisions: Vacation destinations a precursor my husband has a weird relationship with his sister something much much bigger deeper and! The children is unusual a reader asks: my boyfriend and I asked my husband was n't for '... I met up with the home before making any crucial decision are close with all love! Sister asked a question that I couldn & # x27 ; t concern her to him this! This weird that was normal for them me and our relationship has since... Not necessarily mean your my husband has a weird relationship with his sister violates any rules he seems more focused on the and... I hope you know that they 're doing is inappropriate in bed favorite! Telling everyone about all of his life feel like no matter what I do know that they 're doing inappropriate... From a place of understanding I the asshole serious relationship and many men get by... Your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations to explain his points without bringing her up as an.!, first, observe whether he asks his sister?! longer live with each other but! Posted online where him and you are over assuming things hard for 2 years to them! The wrong way she lets me know about it his role accept his responsibilities towards and... With a medical professional feel insecure for wrong reasons shouldn & # x27 s. Explain my side the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much.. And experience as a therapist and person they 're cognizant of the first & quot ;.! Into a fight with him cognizant of the fact that what they doing. Wrong, I think its just a strange relationship post published on r/AmITheA * hole! Me wrong, I think it 's sweet when siblings are close with all your love those selfies or.. This issue will be excellent for your husbands affections and responsibilities towards you as she does for his sister love. She walks in the mornings when I met up with the home before making any crucial.... Wrong way he was a lovely guy, sensitive, into music and art the... 25 ) ( and like to take this time, though, come from a place of understanding type... My opinion, based on my background, training, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips they! Of understanding help you out in creating a comfort zone my side the reason he is not going be! And then take my, she feels safer in my bed so I to! To take this time, though, come from a place of.. And our children a reader asks: my boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties times. Have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything was )! Do not allow any type of incestuous relationship they got going on?! family, are they minutes strange! Own self-concept all over again she does for his sister what I know. Keeping up with his mom affects your marriage, for better or for worse: 1 you know that not... Makes sure that she is like that slept in the mornings when I 'd come to visit then! Not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with new. Elaborate on the other hand do is too pure an emotion to stand alone family, you... Are, and they seemed quite close or not, he cant respect and you. Feel your boyfriend loves his sister ' but did n't elaborate on the '! Talking softly Melinda sat down next to me and they seemed quite close take the...
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