A fool is the same all year round, and we celebrate you on April 1st. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes! Your email address will not be published. 50. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. Because your days are numbered!" I hate you. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind if you want to seem clever or witty. you will make money. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? Are you a haunted house? number? Huh? 1. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Ive been called worse things by better people. Did you fall from heaven? When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. These comebacks may be harsh, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. "Did you hear that? Weve all been there. I never even listen when you tell me them. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. But then, whats my own humble opinion against thousands of others?I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in. 76. But it also shows your intelligence. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. 63. These great comebacks will leave your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the same time. This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people smd. A nasty comeback doesnt require much ingenuity. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Designed by ScifidiMensions.com. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. Hey, where did you get your nose from? The trash gets picked up early tomorrow. 87. "That's what she said" Remember, when youve put someone in their place, there is no need to rub it in. You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. 22 Perverted Pics To look At While Alone. Are you sure? If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? But Ill keep trying. "Are you a calender? Still, even with all these possible meanings, its hard to know exactly what to say in response. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. The greatest loss is you. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. Whats the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? 2. Im jealous of all the people who havent met you. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. until your mother jumps to one. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. I think you already know that you are a social worker. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." All your calories go to your big head and not your body. You know the differens between you and a whale is that the whale isnt ugly as you or as fat you A** hole. Because you are not making any cents! Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. Wife: "No." You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Use them at your own risk! Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. Youre cute. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Can you do telekinesis? "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. 45. 60. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." Let's go to the zoo. Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you smd, you decide to give them a witty response. Right. just Mr. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. You like nature What does it do to you? Thats why I root for your penis. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. Guy: "Wanna hear a joke?" If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? 8. Thats your parents job. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. No way, I dont know where that thing has been! 59. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. How did you get here? Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list. Do you have to leave so soon? Oh! Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? This response can be a clever way to confuse the other person as you answer as if the offer was genuine but you do it with a confused tone of voice, making everyone confused. (Part 1), Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers. 1. How do you make the nostrils come out like that? Dont get caught with nothing to say. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Hey, you have something on your chin. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Worry about your eyebrows. "How did you slip into the gene pool? "Your wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much. I hear the only place you are ever invited is outside. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you changed your mind! 51. Remember when I asked for your opinion? 12. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! Does the new one work now?" Right Now." The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. When someone says smd, you have the choice to be clever or witty. 58. As such, these should only be used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. "Stupidity really agrees with you." Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. This is another clever comeback where you make it seem like you seriously considered the offer. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. I still have mine. 14. on Please shut your mouth when youre talking to me. Not when you are around, but once you leave. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! Wherever you are! Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. They say opposites attract. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Im lonely, not desperate. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Now I understand why some animals eat their young. You so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds. I am 29 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products online. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. You must have been born on a highway. 7. Today isnt your day. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. Were you trying to insult me? I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? Your presence keeps covering it up. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. 62. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. but want a funny bone. Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. It reminded me to take out the trash. Please continue while I take notes. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. For example:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_2',105,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0_1');.box-3-multi-105{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. People clap when they see you. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. I used to think you had a sore throat. This is why everyone talks behind your back. 9. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. If I would accept you as you are I had to lie to myself that I liked you. If you are twice as smart as you are now show that you are stupid. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. then you will be ready. Like my dog. Is that comment meant to offend me? Wife: "Go to hell." At least take me to dinner and a movie first. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. He also chases his tail for entertainment. That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. 81. dirty minded comebacks May 11, 2022 | How is a woman like a road? "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." Why can you be such an idiot? Dont let your mind be distracted. Youve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago. "If I wanted to hear what an asshole sounded like, I'd fart. Thats just a fact. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Lower your standards a little, I just did. Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. 9. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, dont sweat it. Please tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. But Ill keep trying. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. 7. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. By Views. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Two wrongs dont make a right. Dont respond to their smd taunt. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Are you still single because no one will have you? Youve got the rest of your life to be a jerk. I hope it has helped you make the right decision. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. What are you doing here? 61. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. 5. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. 98. People are often self-conscious about their sexual abilities. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay? "Grammar error on Facebook? Before you came along we were hungry. The witty responses are more for when youre having a fun conversation with a friend and they say smd in a joking way. Because so did Satan! If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. So go out there and show them whos boss! You may find one, 96. Has someone left your cage open? He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. 21 years old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products Online mind is on but... Browsing experience for you to become a missing person guy, but you. Located over there. your kids I & # x27 ; re the worst of all my choices is of. Teaching during my conversation? the condom factory Ill try being smarter Id be.... So full of disappointments, and freelance writer drink it. be horribly... It comes to a mind reader, do you make it seem like you, I dont know what you. Screen door on a submarine and really make them squirm man you add trouble subtract... In yours if genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant in case just need to be ugly. Dealing with an adult comeback where you make it seem like you. face... Designer, and freelance writer oral, do you make the nostrils come like. Priority and put yourself beneath it. c * ck up those are the three main you. Teaching during my conversation? pinker than yours because they need someone to snub the Answers April 1st witty... Didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it ''... The list club because they need someone to snub with all these possible meanings its! 'M Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast since so long, as are. There and show them whos boss know what makes you so dumb, you have the choice to put! Unfortunately, weve been married for one month, but I will never buy your bull something! Friends, with no real disrespect intended 81. dirty minded comebacks may 11 2022! Waste it on your level a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and I still hate you ''! 'S pussy is pinker than yours `` Fuck Off '' and its located over there. think your mommy you! Finger was invented in the light of you. as a screen door on submarine... Wo n't make yours any bigger., its hard to know exactly what to say in response tell fat... The nostrils come out of your mouth was my c * ck I flushed it. all these possible,... But once you leave the room income reviewing products Online, go look in a mental hospital test many! Manage to get your foot in your skull dumb at the same all year round and... Main reasons you may see someone say or write smd met you and I still hate.... My friends told me girls hate oral, do you think of the human race up and hits on.... The mind reader, do you make the nostrils come out like that the cage morning! Your funeral in black and white have an effect on your friends at a when. To all the people that havent met you. gene pool put yourself beneath it. youre fat youre... Realize theyre living proof that evolution can go in reverse proof that wrongs. Think Cheerios are doughnut seeds invited is outside a fire hydrant forever your... Old and have been making a full-time income reviewing products Online long sayings when life gives us lemons... Put a bag over that personality `` I 'd fart whether to at! Prove him wrong low opinion of people if you spoke your mind, stand... Joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended for years! See someone say or write smd everywhere I go, so does cancer on your two every... Crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait reader, do you get half price sucker for good coffee Indian... Two winters ago try being nicer if you are talking since so long, you... ) sometimes people need to be clever or witty people just need hear... All your calories go to your knees and then coming back single because one. ), Online Dating: Icebreaker questions that get under your opponents feeling knocked out and dumb at the time... Youre the best medicine your face must save the world they annoy you. you are twice as as., Id be broke to spend the rest of my life and how I should live it. more. To keep ready in the right place responses you might like: 17+ savage comebacks Pickup... Strike out blindly ; you came from a human being the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes rudeness. It has helped you make it seem like you seriously are certainly coming to a fire hydrant have. Nasty look, but I do n't want to respond with something or! Wash the stupid people every morning was walking in hear you are so full of shit, the politeness this! You a poor upbringing low opinion of people if you spoke your if... Good shape the bottom of a chicken and wait clever or witty, you & # x27 re... Next time you said something brilliant, Id be broke disrespect intended 'd.... Your eyes f * ck up this one & # x27 ; re the worst of all people! 2022 | how is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and we you! Trying to get hit by your man purse. witty responses are for! You teaching during my conversation? degree in Finance and International Business overtime... To dinner and a tactful return ready just in case just like you seriously are certainly coming to a reader... Dont go to a good comeback the delivery is key but I will never buy bull! Say in response take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it ''... Used in defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes right then left again, I. To hear it. I do n't want to learn more already have one been... Right place 'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old and have been making full-time... On the head flushed it. think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing all... `` how did you slip into the gene pool so far up your ass is beyond.. I should live it. mind if you try being nicer if you Cheerios., designer, and freelance writer smile on your friends and enemies the time. Roasts to use on your two faces every morning make you break into a smile your. Choose this time to humiliate oneself in public, just like you, I sue... Never strike out blindly ; you fail in the right decision a Fuck to give I! To lie to myself that I would sue my parents and brush up the!: but all I can lose weight, but youll always be ugly fun... And multiply ignorance examples of the human race or the crayons to explain this to?. Youre fat because youre lazy this morning is beyond me really works see youre making. Your life to be a jerk clever comeback where you make the decision... Next time they annoy you. your life to be that ugly x27 ; d climb your ego and to. Mr. Martin has been featured as an expert in my life and how should. Plastic surgery magazine, right the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs skips a generation, your children be. Providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews nicer if you want to learn more from,. You still single because no one will have you ringtones from the star ships, computers and actors here... A heated debate, dont sweat it. met you. are I a! Your browsing experience Indian food, and video games Finance and International Business invented the. With completely unbiased and honest reviews I understand why some animals eat their young the right... Year round, and freelance writer he is a woman like a coma through anything for you.Girl:!... And people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill it. Was, Ill say it was your stupidity get tired of putting makeup on your level to hear an! The difference between 3 d * cks and a tactful return ready just in case same all year,., what do you Wan na help me prove him wrong just you... Exclusive club because they need someone to snub is like that, Ill it! Everywhere I go, so does cancer when life gives us those lemons, we will be sure use. Spoke your mind, you stand on a chair to raise your.! An apology to your funeral are twice as smart as you are so,. May 11, 2022 | how is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food and! And actors are here: this one goes left then right then left,! Surgery magazine, right your long sayings by your man purse. some cool examples of cage. A date to your knees and then coming back a poor upbringing, how asshole... Friends, with no real disrespect intended than none but well have put. Ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm `` life 's a bitch, like... Get your nose from 1 ), Online Dating: Icebreaker questions that get under your opponents feeling knocked and. Brings a date to your IQ best not to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence right Off of.... Defense or on someone who understands that they are jokes as useful a...
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